I got Mayor Armapple’s latest scheme in the mail today...
To: Linkyshire Awards Program Participant
The Linkyshire Awards Program is writing you to alert you to your award!!!
This weekend only and no other weekend you have been awarded a free stay in Linkyshire!
Award Benefits include:
- Free food with your stay at the location of your stay only
- Clean sheets as soon as you leave Linkyshire
- Fabulous Linkyshire shopping with access to shopping in less attractive environs nearby
- Free access to Linkyshire treadmill!
- Views of bucolic Linkyshire - no need to imagine them - right out your window (includes parking lot)
- Free underground, not spooky, parking with access to your stay room
- Free WiFi - imagine surfing the Internet for free!
- Free use of widescreen TV (no cable) - bring any DVD you like!
- Share the suite with a real resident of Linkyshire.
Imagine shaking Mayor Oliver Armapple's hand in person!
Come any time this Thursday or Friday and stay until Sunday or Monday!
Don't pass it up!
There is so much snow that we are living underground now.
It is quite the experience.
Mayor Oliver Armapple has declared an emergency;
other than that he hasn’t done anything.
I don’t see any plows or traffic today.
No sirens.
Just coyote tracks petering out in the distance.
Yup, the LInkyshire newsletter says the coyotes are back to breed at this time of year.
Pups should arrive in 60 days.
I’m looking forward to it.
I have lived with 10 chairs for 3 years.
Only now have I arranged 3 of them at my table.
My table is black.
There are two white chairs at the table.
They are covered in leather.
The 3rd chair is red plastic.
There is nothing symmetrical about their positions.
On the table surface there are 3 green, metallic place mats.
Each chair has a place mat.
It is perfect.
My hope is that this focus is not evidence for loss of mind.
Under the circumstances my calm is not rational.
Mini-Coopers don’t break down. We all own one.
Gunmen don’t flee here. They are not welcome.
Roads are not crowded. We are not big.
It is quiet. That means you can think.
The police are well-payed. That means gunmen don’t flee here.
There is a convenient coffee shop.
You can shop around the corner.
It is not snoppity.
It is not Evantonian.
Pinky says Linkyshire is “boring.”
After she said that, I watched TV for a couple of hours.
I couldn’t go out.
I could only drink water.
