In Defense of Linkyshire

Mini-Coopers don’t break down. We all own one.
Gunmen don’t flee here. They are not welcome.
Roads are not crowded. We are not big.
It is quiet. That means you can think.
The police are well-payed. That means gunmen don’t flee here.
There is a convenient coffee shop.
You can shop around the corner.
It is not snoppity.
It is not Evantonian.